Are you feeling frustrated while raising your child?
What actions are prohibited when raising children?
What should you not do when you are irritated?
I will answer those questions.
The stress of raising children is passed on to the child,
That’s not a good way to raise a child.
So in this article, what are the prohibited behaviors when raising children?
Here are 6 things you shouldn’t do when you’re feeling irritated.
- Child-rearing frustration prohibited behavior
Child-rearing frustration prohibited behavior
I’m supposed to be serious about conveying my feelings, but it doesn’t get through to the child at all.
They don’t seem to listen to what I say, and even though I’m trying to be nice to my child, I get backlash…
While raising children, such interactions are repeated.
As a parent, be aware of the impact words have on your child.
1. Do not interpret your child’s feelings arbitrarily.
Children may not be able to express their feelings well,
There are many things that we cannot express.
As a normal thing, I understand that,
You should treat your child by reading their facial expressions and gestures.
However, if the child continues to cry or remains silent,
Parents tend to speak for their child’s feelings by asking, “This is what you’re trying to say, isn’t it?”
I think there are many cases where a child just says 1 and the parent goes on to say 10, or interprets it and comes to a conclusion.
Therefore, as the first prohibited behavior,
“Do not interpret children’s feelings arbitrarily”
Let me confirm this again.
This is because the moment when parents interpret and speak for them is,
Parents talk based on their assumptions without looking at the child themselves.
This seems to be because there are not many cases.
When this escalates, the child’s true feelings are completely different.
You end up deciding, “This is how this child feels right now.”
If this goes wrong,
Heart-to-heart communication may gradually become weaker.
Cherishing the “pause” when children’s words come out,
I want to avoid being impatient.
2. Do not rate or comment during the process.
Parents, before their children finish talking,
“That’s not a good idea” or “That was a bad move.”
You may end up commenting something like this.
However, it is important not to judge or evaluate something as “good” or “bad” during the conversation.
For example, when your children get into a fight.
“I just hit ____-kun.”
When the child said to her,
As a parent
“That’s not good. Violence is definitely not allowed.”
You will want to express your opinion right away.
What if the child is already reflecting on himself at this time?
What if you wanted your parents to hear about your situation and thoughts at that time?
She was interrupted from what she wanted to say,
If I keep being told things that I know are not good, even though the content is so-so,
They won’t talk about it anymore.
First of all, accept the story.
As you accept it, you may begin to express remorse or regret that you have done something wrong.
3. Don’t scold someone without looking at the facts
repeating the same mistakes over and over again
No matter what I do, it won’t last long
I get irritated when
“That’s why it’s no good.”
“It’s always like that. You’re a weak-willed child.”
There may be times when you want to scold them.
However, be careful not to scold someone in a way that gives them a bad evaluation like this.
If you keep getting scolded in such an aggressive tone,
Eventually, the child will realize that he or she is no good, no matter what he does.
and may develop low self-esteem.
If you have low self-esteem, you will lose the motivation and courage to take on new challenges.
It may even lead to them feeling like they are not loved by their parents or that they are abandoning them.
If you feel like scolding someone, first tell them “the current situation.”
“Huh? I didn’t get the newspaper this morning. What’s wrong?”
“How much homework do you have today?”
It seems important to let your child realize that they are not ready yet.
4. Don’t ask “Why?” “Why?”
As a parent’s response when listening to their child’s story,
One word you want to avoid is
This “why?” “Why?”
That’s the question.
I’m sure many mothers and fathers have this idea in mind.
This question feels almost like an interrogation to the child.
Then I felt like I was being attacked by my parents,
It closes the door to your heart.
“Why did you do that?”
“Why is it always like that?”
Although it is in the form of a question,
In many cases, the child is not really asking the question to find an answer.
If this continues, the child may begin to try to make excuses or deceive in order to escape the blame from the parents.
5. Don’t just say “enough is enough” and let go
Interjecting into children’s stories,
As a result, when children do not listen to their parents,
Do you ever find yourself pushing away and saying, “Enough! Just do what you want!”
This is also one of the responses you want to avoid.
As the saying goes, children feel abandoned and feel disappointed.
Maybe as a parent, “If you say this, they’ll think about doing something on their own.”
There may be some expectations.
If the parent and child have a strong relationship of trust, things may proceed as expected.
But in many cases
“Mom doesn’t care about me.”
In this way, we tend to close our minds.
This book explains how to be patient with your child.
We are told that this will lead to the growth of children.
6. Do not give unsolicited advice
If your child has a problem or is worried
“This is what you should do then.”
“What if we do it like this?”
I often end up giving advice when I’m not asked for it.
Of course, when your parents are not asking for advice,
Even when asked, it is best to avoid giving advice unilaterally from the beginning.
Of course, this is different in cases where adult intervention is required.
If the problem is something other than that, you should try to let your child think about it and decide for themselves.
When the advice you received from your parents did not solve the problem,
They shift the blame by saying, “I couldn’t do it.”
When a problem arises, they immediately turn to their parents and stop thinking for themselves.
There may be some things you tend to do even when you’re not irritated.
Especially when it comes to small children, they get irritated and take out their emotions when things don’t go their way.
However, if this happens, the child will become increasingly closed-minded and unable to communicate effectively.
If these behaviors apply to you, if you reconsider the way you interact with your children, you may find that your children react differently than before.
I would be happy if I could be of some help.
Thank you for reading to the end.